i already hear my dad disowning me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
