You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
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Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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