At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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