i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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