I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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