I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
