So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
