I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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