Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
