Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
