It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
