i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There's always time for handjobs
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
