I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
