OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
