Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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