honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
