I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
