nut hugger
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
