I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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