can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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