Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
