sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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