Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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