I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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