Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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