Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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