Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
