your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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