It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
