this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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