Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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