hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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