how can u be prego again
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
