i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize