i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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