i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
