I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
