i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
