and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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