He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
