i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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