How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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