Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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