My hand turned me down
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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