Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
