Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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