By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize