Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
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peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
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I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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