You're so nebulous sometimes
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
