Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
