I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize