hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
