check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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