she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize