apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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