I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
