Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
the raccoons are back...
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